Enough?

Today on The Couch I'm going to let you in on something God is currently teaching me.

One of my 2018 New Years Resolution was to read more than last year. I read 30 books last year, which was a big deal for me. The exciting thing is that I've already read 15 books this year, so this goal is well within reach!

I have a little stack of new books on my dresser. But I haven't touched them. I noticed that I kept reading old books from my book shelf. Which is odd, because I was really excited about this stack of new books. However, every time I finished a book I would find an old one to start instead of the new ones. I asked "why" out loud one day in my bedroom and the Holy Spirit was waiting for me to ask that question (I'm sure) because I had a answer immediately:

"You're living with a poverty mind set Janell. You won't read those books because you believe that you won't have something great to read next. So you save it for the next time, whenever that is."

Then Holy Spirit showed me how I do this with other things as well (yarn, food/drinks, magazines, clothes) it was like the lightbulb came on fully. I knew this about myself to a certain degree. But I think I was in denial and didn't fully understand how I was letting it effect my life.

Now I should probably clarify that there are times when you should wait to use things. In this instance it's about having things, but being a afraid to use them/finish them because once you do you won't have anything thing else.

There was a part of me that didn't believe God was good, that he would provide for seemingly unimportant things in my life. I was living with this irrational fear of running out. Is He the God of more than enough or not? Does He delight in making sure I have a good read? I believe He cares way more about the little details of our lives than we give Him credit for.

"Yes God is more than ready to overwhelm you with every form of grace, so that you will have more than enough of everything...First he supplies every need, plus more." -2 Corinthians 9:8,10b (TPT)

So I'm adding a new, New Years Resolution (never too late to add another right?) to stop living a life that says there will not be something better later. I choose to enjoy what I have now and use it, without fear.

I'm happy to announce that I've already read two from my "new" stack and guess what? New books have joined the stack because God provides and He is ever faithful.

~Janell